Sacrifice Your Family
Two brothers sip their low-fat mochachinos,detached, they watch their two sons flicking quartersacross the table, back and forth. Reportersacross the street, await a new casino'sfront doors to open....
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Hi StephenMy only problem with this one is knowing what it's about. Maybe I'm not meant to, or maybe it's referring to a news story or event that I've missed. That aside, it has no obvious warts, sets...
View ArticleRe: Sacrifice Your Family
Hi,I think I got the gist of the meaning. I imagine the people are religiously opposed to the casino and are in the coffee shop to "have a gawk"? Or am I way off?It has a nice sense of anticipation,...
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There must be a back-story to this one with which I am unfamiliar, because I have a tough time understanding what is going on. A more specific title, such as "Protesting a Casino's Grand Opening"...
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Hi Dave, Thanks for commenting. Is two syllables for child is out of date? Hi Yolhanson, Thanks. I've made those corrections. In some ways I'm fishing for interpretations, and in other ways, simply...
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It's interesting the way you play with words to retain an air of mystery. Like does five to four and one to four.. suggest they are watching the clock for the casino's opening at 4 o'clock..or are...
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I have no criticisms of this sonnet. It is quite well crafted. It flows very well, the visuals are good, the content was there, the meter was there. I just don't know what more to say.
View ArticleRe: Sacrifice Your Family
Many thanks Sue. I've used your corrections and changed the title.Christy, thanks for stopping by :-)
View ArticleRe: Sacrifice Your Family
Reading it a third time, I do spot a nit. In L6, there should be no comma after "arrive." There might need to be one at the end of the line. I'm not sure.
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